Open Forum in The Villages, Florida
This weekly podcast will cover in detail, people, clubs and activities here in The Villages, Florida. Each show will run 10-30 minutes. Become a Supporter of this show for $3/month. Supporters will have access to all episodes. Our newest Supporters will get a Shout-out during a show.
Open Forum in The Villages, Florida
Sheila Keene-Lund's Reflections on Cultural Roots and the Art of Dementia Care
As Sheila Keene-Lund recounts her early years amidst the colorful backdrop of the Caribbean, you'll find yourself transported to the sights and sounds that shaped her formidable spirit. Our conversation with Sheila unfolds an intimate sliver of history, from the Cuban revolution to the sun-soaked shores of St. Lucia, and the spiritual awakening that followed her harrowing brushes with death. Through her vivid storytelling, Sheila illustrates the power of culture, place, and personal evolution, inviting us to explore the ways in which our origins forge the paths we tread.
Care-giving for a loved one with Alzheimer's can be a profound journey of love, loss, and unexpected growth. I bare my soul about the highs and lows of this experience, revealing how self-development and spiritual insights have been my anchors in the turbulent sea of care-giving. We delve into the hard-hitting reality of caregiver stress and the necessity of self-care through nutrition and community support. The lessons from "Empower Caregiver Sky to Dementia" promise not just solace but also empowerment for those walking this path.
In our candid exploration of end-of-life care, I share personal anecdotes and hard-earned wisdom that will soon find a place in the addendum to my book. We tackle the labyrinth of regulations and the pressing need for comprehensive dementia care guidance. These conversations underscore the resilience inherent in our human connections, even as dementia tries to cloud them. It's a heartfelt reminder of the beauty that persists in life's final chapters, aiming to offer solace and practical advice to those facing the complexities of care-giving.
Open Forum in The Villages, Florida is Produced & Directed by Mike Roth
A new episode will be released most Fridays at 9 AM
Direct all questions and comments to mike@rothvoice.com
If you know a Villager who should appear on the show, please contact us at: mike@rothvoice.com
Welcome to the Open Forum in The Villages Florida podcast. In this show we talk to leaders in the community, leaders of clubs and interesting folks who live here in the villages to give perspectives of what is happening here in the villages Florida. We hope to add a new episode most Fridays at 9am. We are a listener supported podcast. There will be shoutouts for supporters and episodes. As a supporter you will get a direct email link to Mike. In season 5 we are making significant improvements and changes on an ongoing basis.
Mike Roth:Now you can help me afford to keep making this podcast by becoming a supporter. First, a quick note about the podcast. It's available because I absolutely love doing it, despite the fact that it cost me probably more time than I can actually afford. Now I can't buy back my time, but there is one thing that you can do that would be really helpful, and that is help me to afford making this podcast. You can do that by going to the website open forum in the villages. com and clicking on the supporter box. We are making a small donation of $3 to $10 a month and you can cancel at any time. Really, a small donation of $3 will still make a difference and I'd really appreciate it If you can't afford to do that.
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Emily:If you have a book that you would like to turn into an audio book, let us know via email to mike at Rothvoice. com. Hope you enjoy today's show.
Mike Roth:This is Mike Roth on Open Forum in the Villages, Florida. I'm here today with Sheila Keane. Sheila, thanks for joining me. Thank you for having me. Sheila, you were featured in the Daily Sun a few weeks ago and it said that you grew up in the Caribbean. Could you share with us some of your experiences that you had growing up in the Caribbean and which islands you lived on?
Sheila Keene-Lund:Yes, I was born actually in Spain, but my father was an English engineer, telecommunications engineer, and he met my mother in Puerto Rico.
Sheila Keene-Lund:My mother was from Puerto Rico and there were my two sisters. Elder sisters were born when all of us were living in Spain. We moved to Cuba. From Cuba. We stayed there until the revolution. Then we moved to Puerto Rico. In Puerto Rico we stayed about six years. During the time in Puerto Rico we had a lot of family time, lots of beaches, lots of fun.
Sheila Keene-Lund:I had two near-death experiences in Puerto Rico and they were to shape the rest of my life and my direction. I had many questions about those experiences and I soon found out that I would have to find the answers to my questions myself, because, having been brought up in a very strict Catholic family, I was told to ignore the experiences. Or they weren't important or I had to have faith. And that was the same answer that the nuns in our school would give me. I knew from that moment that I would have to find the answers that I wanted through my own effort. We left Puerto Rico when I was 13 and we moved to the island of San Lucia. We did a lot of traveling to the Caribbean islands a lot of beaches, a lot of boat riding, a lot of skiing, a lot of fun.
Mike Roth:Can you share with our audience what the near-death experiences were?
Sheila Keene-Lund:When I was seven years old, I was in the beach with some friends of my father and two of them were holding my hands. When I went to the beach we were swimming no-transcript Apparently, there was a wave coming and they let my hands. And when I saw that all of a sudden the wave wasn't me, and what was interesting is I saw myself rolling in the water just watching my little body rolling, and I was very calm and I looked at the little body rolling and I wasn't scared at all. And that just went on for a little bit until I was awakened when they were trying to resuscitate me on the beach.
Sheila Keene-Lund:That was the first one. The second one was when I was 12 years old and I was at the dentist and they were giving me something to go to sleep and I guess I must have reacted to it and all of a sudden I felt my body coming out from my head. I guess I just felt myself lifting out of my body and I was all of a sudden in a little train and the little train was going towards a tunnel and it was too small, the tunnel was too small and I kept thinking I'm not going to fit in that tunnel. But then, all of a sudden I heard my grandpa, who was dead at the time, and he just told me she that turn back is not your time. So I just woke up again in the dentist's office and it was then that it intrigued me what those experiences were and had I died and what had happened and all those questions. But my school teachers and my mom didn't seem to have any answers or had any interest in.
Mike Roth:What island did that happen on?
Sheila Keene-Lund:That happened in Puerto Rico. From Puerto Rico we went to St Lucia. Now, st Lucia was a very undeveloped island. It was gorgeous. They had no escalators, no elevators, they only had a very small TV station, a little radio station, and everybody knew everybody and the beaches were gorgeous. And in St Lucia my father was the manager of the telephone company there and we went to school in a convent. That was a very interesting experience. School in a convent, yeah, and it was very interesting.
Mike Roth:So your father was in telecommunication.
Sheila Keene-Lund:Yes, my father was in telecommunications in St Lucia and at 15 in the island of St Lucia I met my future husband.
Mike Roth:My husband. How old were you when that happened?
Sheila Keene-Lund:I was 15 and I met him. We got married when I was 18 and we had three children, three boys. Now our life my life and my married life was a very privileged life. We had a lot of businesses to run and it was a beautiful life in many ways. During that time I also learned how to meditate, and I learned to meditate simply because I was curious, but it turned out that those years of meditation really helped me in many ways. One, my husband was abusive, and so it helped me deal with everything that comes with having to deal with an abusive husband. And secondly, it helped keep my desire for spiritual growth alive.
Sheila Keene-Lund:So I did a lot of research, trying to find answers to the same questions I had from when I was a little girl, and that continued for about 10 years. And then one day, when I was running one of our businesses, I found myself at the house the kids were being raised by their grandmother because we were so busy, and I remember thinking I need to do something different. I had found out that there was a school in Iowa that taught meditation to the children as part of their curriculum, and I had found that meditation had helped me so much inwardly that I wanted the same thing for the kids. And so I decided that, despite our good life in many ways in Saint Lucia and a very comfortable life in Saint Lucia, that I wanted to take the kids to experience something more. And so, with not my husband's permission he didn't want us to go, but with $5,000 and three kids in tow, I moved to Fairfield, Iowa.
Mike Roth:Oh, it sounds like he didn't move with you.
Sheila Keene-Lund:No, I left him behind. Two months later, we got divorced.
Mike Roth:Okay, that sounds like that was probably a good thing for you.
Sheila Keene-Lund:In Fairfield Iowa. It was a very Within a year I had started my own business.
Mike Roth:What business was that?
Sheila Keene-Lund:I did policies and procedure manuals for nursing homes and I analyzed the procedures and then documented them and customized them. In Iowa also, after a few years of being there, I came across a book that also really helped me a lot, and that was a book called the Yirancha book.
Mike Roth:Oh, the name of the book, again the.
Sheila Keene-Lund:and for those of you who haven't heard, it's supposed to be an epic whole event from God that clarifies an expanse of a current belief system. And when I read that at first I was really excited. But then I put it away for six years and I continued my research. During the time that I was in Iowa, I also became a deaconess of the Liberal Catholic Church and whilst I was studying there, whilst I was practicing there, I was also teaching classes on Buddhism, on how to take care of people who are dying.
Sheila Keene-Lund:Once I was there, I began to have a source of writing a book and everybody wanted me to write about life after death.
Sheila Keene-Lund:But I kept thinking what am I supposed to write that hasn't been written?
Sheila Keene-Lund:So at the time when I kept having that recurrence thought, I began to have an inner talk with my inner spirit and I asked and I said you know, if I'm supposed to write a book, I need the name and I need a sign. And I said and I want that sign to be that one of my kids talked to me about life after death, because that's what I thought I was going to write about, so about, and I forgot about that about two weeks later, one of my youngest sons coming to the house to watch a movie with me and then halfway through the movie somebody's dying in the movie and he says Mom, do you believe in life after death? So I knew I had gotten the sign, but I still didn't have the name. And the name came about two weeks later when I was in the office and I was, I picked up a book and I said I wonder what the name of my book is going to be. And it said Heaven is not the last stop on my right ear.
Sheila Keene-Lund:I heard heaven is. And then I I said what was that? Again, heaven is not the last stop. So I knew I had to write a book. I had been given the sign, but I had no idea what I was going to write about and I'd never read them before. So for the next 10 years I researched the book because it came back to me with about 10 years.
Mike Roth:Could you give that name of the book again, slowly for our listeners the Urancha book.
Sheila Keene-Lund:Urancha book U-R-A-N-T-I.
Mike Roth:Never heard of it.
Sheila Keene-Lund:T book. a big 2000 page book, and whilst I did my research I had lots of questions, and one of the questions I said to my inner self, I guess I said is what happens after death, connected with this particular information that is in this book. And about six months later I came across the Urancha book Urantia again, after not having seen it for six years, and so I knew I had to write it and I knew I had to do it. So my Heaven is Not the Last Stop is basically a summarized version of the Urancha book Uranita which I hope will help readers expand their own beliefs and then see what they experience as a result. Now how my husband this was Bart.
Sheila Keene-Lund:This was Bart. Yes, how my husband got involved with Bright in Heaven is Not the Last Stop. When I was in Iowa, I kept trying to write it but nothing was coming. So I moved to Florida because my mother had passed away and I wanted to be with my father. So I thought I would go there. And whilst I was there, I was playing tennis and I wanted to dance with some. I wanted to do ballroom dancing and somebody gave me Bart's name and I called him. And how he got involved is once we met and I told him that I was trying to write this book. He says I'll help you. And I said you don't know anything about the boy, but he was the most fantastic, the most fantastic person in doing that job in editing the book.
Mike Roth:So Bart passed away from Alzheimer's disease. How did his death motivate you towards writing a book about empowering caregivers for Alzheimer patients?
Sheila Keene-Lund:Bart and I were married for 20 years. He got diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2018. Actually, in 2017, he got diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Nobody can tell you. I think they had to take care of somebody with Alzheimer's and experience nobody can prepare you for.
Sheila Keene-Lund:It doesn't matter how much you read it doesn't matter how many good intention people tell you about it. The experience in itself is unique to you. On how you're going to do it, deal with it. So whenever Bart kept taking a step worse, you really feel it emotionally, but you pick yourself up and you deal with it, but you don't really realize the stress that is in your body. So one day I was talking to my doctor and he said you know? She said if you don't take care of yourself, you're going to die before him. And that shocked me and I looked it up and the statistics were that 63% of caregivers will die before the person they're taking care of.
Mike Roth:Wow, that's from the stress.
Sheila Keene-Lund:And that's from the stress. And when you consider that in the United States there's 11 million caregivers, that's a lot of people who are giving care to people with Alzheimer's who are not in a memory care unit or home. Yes, there's a lot of people, there's a lot of caregivers now. So what I decided at that point? I thought you know I've spent so much time working on self development technique on spiritual growth.
Sheila Keene-Lund:So I need to apply those principles to my care giving so that I can survive caregiving giving caregiving experience. And that's what I did. So I started. First of all, I got rid of all the negativity around me and I did not entertain anybody who would, however nice they wanted to be were giving me advice that wasn't asked for, and the other thing that I did is I picked up mountain biking and I started doing mountain biking to release stress and I wrote a book about it about mountain biking, and then I thought I started joining support groups.
Mike Roth:Did you have any help caring for your husband Bart?
Sheila Keene-Lund:When I for the first, for the first five years from 2017 to 2017, when he got diagnosed to 2023, I took care of him and I took care of him alone. I did have some help that would come for four hours during the day, but I was able to get my boss to give me the time so I could work remotely. And so I took care of him and I only took a part time job because I wanted to be able to all the needs that he had. And that was very hard, because one of the things that caregivers experience is a lot of isolation, because they're protecting the person they're taking care of. After a while, a person who has Alzheimer's tends to be alienated from everybody else, because very few people feel comfortable talking to somebody who has dementia, and so you get very protective of the person.
Mike Roth:As the caregiver. Excuse me, you get very protective as the caregiver.
Sheila Keene-Lund:Yeah, you get very protective and, as a result, you end up just seeing the four walls in your house most of the time, and so it is very stressful. So I decided then to join support group online support group but what I found was that most of the people in the support group were focusing on how bad everything was. They were focusing on the pain, on how much out of the way they were forced to be, on all the different things that they had to do to take care of somebody, and I thought if we focus, you can't stop what's going on. The circumstances are there.
Mike Roth:Right.
Sheila Keene-Lund:But you can do something about your mindset. You can do something about how do I view that experience that I'm having.
Mike Roth:So the experience that you had with your husband in your book Empowering Caregivers Guide to Dementia what sets that book apart from other books?
Sheila Keene-Lund:There's many books about dementia, and there are many books also about how to deal with burnout.
Sheila Keene-Lund:But, what sets my book apart is that it focuses on the mindset, on how to develop the mindset so that you can not just survive caring for somebody, but thrive. How can you be able to see beyond your life of caregiving in a way that's positive, that's rewarding, that you're able to see the experience that you just went through as one more of life's experiences. That is rewarding and that it is beautiful and it has helped you grow in ways that you wouldn't have grown otherwise. So that is the focus of my book.
Mike Roth:Is that book available on Amazon?
Sheila Keene-Lund:Yes, it's available on Amazon, is it?
Mike Roth:Available also as an audio book.
Sheila Keene-Lund:That's what I'm working on now.
Mike Roth:Good, good. This is Mike Roth with Dr Craig Curtis for today's Alzheimer's Tip. Let's talk about the Omega-3 and Omega-6, how should people get that from their diet?
Dr. Craig Curtis:Well, primarily you should get that through beans and nuts and legumes and fish. You can take a supplement of Omega-3, omega-6s. However, don't overdo the supplementation of Omega-3. Specifically, there was a large study published by the American College of Cardiology a few years back that seemed to show that people that took too much Omega-3 might have an increased risk of a heart arrhythmia. So my recommendation is if you buy Omega-3 supplements, take it as written.
Warren:With over 20 years of experience studying brain health, r. Curtis's goal is to educate the village's community on how to live a longer, healthier life. To learn more, visit his website, craigkurtasmd. com, or call 352-500-5252 to attend a free seminar.
Mike Roth:I think many people, me included, would rather listen to a book when I'm exercising or driving, as opposed to sitting down and reading a book.
Sheila Keene-Lund:Yes, and that's why I'm working on it.
Mike Roth:Good, good. Are you planning to write any additional book?
Sheila Keene-Lund:I'm writting g right now on an addendum for my book Empower Caregiver Sky to Dementia.
Mike Roth:Sounds like a second edition.
Sheila Keene-Lund:It's like a second edition and it's going to be called what I wish I knew about end-of-life care, so that part is going to be focusing. I found out that the last two weeks of my husband in fact, the last two months of my husband were so intense and not only dealing with him dying but also with the bureaucracies and the regulations and things that maybe we can't do anything about.
Mike Roth:Was he in hospice care the last two months?
Sheila Keene-Lund:Yes, he was in hospice care for actually three or four months he was in hospice care. But there are things, even about hospice care, that one doesn't know, that it's important to know.
Mike Roth:Give our listeners an example.
Sheila Keene-Lund:Well, an example would be I was appalled when I asked for an air bed for my husband because they had suggested that, not suggested they had put him on bed, constant bed rest, and I told him that he was getting red spots in the back and that he needed to have an air bed.
Sheila Keene-Lund:They told me oh no, no, we can't give you an air bed until he has a sore, and I thought how ridiculous is that you have to wait until you have a sore to be able to get an air bed. So I ended up getting myself one for him. But things like that are important to know, because it's a very expensive caring for somebody with dementia. It's expensive, and if you put him in a home, it's expensive, and so it's important to know certain things that nobody talks to you when you enter either home or when you're caring for somebody, and it's important to know them. So I figured I would bring those out every time that I experienced, and hopefully people will be able to. Even if nothing can be done about these things, they will be able to be more informed when they're in that situation.
Mike Roth:So when your husband was originally diagnosed with Alzheimer's, did they give you a book to read?
Sheila Keene-Lund:Nobody gave me a book to read. They just told me that my best resource was my doctor.
Mike Roth:Okay, so now, for people who are facing that same dilemma that you had, they have a book that they can read that will give them some extremely valuable information.
Sheila Keene-Lund:That is what I'm hoping. I'm hoping that we can reduce that statistic by having people be able to develop a mindset that's positive and that they find that they have grown. So that's what I'm hoping my book will do. It will reduce the statistics of 63 percent and will be able to help them get through that experience in a way that they will see that is rewarding.
Mike Roth:That's real good. That's real good. You sound like you are a book reader yourself.
Sheila Keene-Lund:I like to read books.
Mike Roth:I like to read books.
Sheila Keene-Lund:Yeah, I like to read books and what I can learn from them.
Mike Roth:So I've asked you to pick up a book show up for yourself by Janet Philbin and she was on the show last week and that's a book about how to heal yourself A very good book, and she did a great interview that you and my other listeners will be able to listen to. This is all about healing yourself from trauma which may go all the way back to when you were a child, and you certainly had a couple of traumas before you were 18 years of age, which would definitely be in there.
Sheila Keene-Lund:Yes, yes, the dealing with you have to be willing to make the changes. You have to be able to recognize where you're at and you have to be willing to make the changes. It's all about inner work. The one thing that is beautiful and very rare was that my husband never forgot me. He never forgot my name.
Sheila Keene-Lund:He never forgot me. In fact, five days before he died, when he was lying down, he hadn't opened his eyes or anything. Five days before he died, all of a sudden he told me, sheila, I'm dying. And I told him, I asked him why and he said I feel something is taking over my body and when it gets to my throat I'll die. And then I told him, I said, bart, I'll miss you so much and I love you. And he says he looked at me, touched me and said I love you so much. Thank you for everything. For a man who has seven stage dementia, who hadn't spoken, he never forgot.
Mike Roth:That's a very touching story very touching story. This new book, or the addendum to the first book, it's an addendum.
Sheila Keene-Lund:I think it's an important story to be told because to me, even though the whole year was part, the whole of 2020, through which was the year that we had to end up putting him in a home, was so difficult. The last two months were horrendous and it was dealing with facility regulations and state regulations and this and that, and it was like I don't know things, I believe. I personally believe that some things need to change.
Mike Roth:Yeah, where was that? Was that here in Florida?
Sheila Keene-Lund:or it was here in.
Mike Roth:Florida. It sounds like you were spending most of your time with him, even though he was in the facility.
Sheila Keene-Lund:Oh yes, I spent 12 hours a day Towards the end. I spent 12 hours, 12 hours with him, and sometimes I would spend the night, because you definitely. It doesn't matter whether you put somebody in a home. You have to watch after them, because nobody's going to take care of your loved ones you would take care of.
Mike Roth:Do you have any idea when this addendum to the book is going to be?
Sheila Keene-Lund:I'm hoping it'll be published by, I would say, April. I should be finished. April of 24?. Yes, April 24 should be finished. Yes, I started writing it already and I'm researching some things and I will have it out then and hopefully by that time we'll be working on the audibles, so it'll be.
Mike Roth:You'll be working on the.
Sheila Keene-Lund:So it'll be an audible book.
Mike Roth:An audible book. Yes, that's very good. They're even better if you can put them in your own voice. But there are plenty of voice over artists that'll do it, even AIs, and when we do it with an AI and it's a single voice book, it's very inexpensive to do At this point in time. I'd say $400 to do an average size book kind of like the one you're holding.
Sheila Keene-Lund:Oh, interesting, I will definitely.
Mike Roth:An AI voice or an actor or an actress reading a book does very well. Until the book has tables in it, like Excel tables and chart, those become next to impossible to do well If you want your listeners to understand them Okay, and do you recommend that the writer reads the book?
Sheila Keene-Lund:No, Okay.
Mike Roth:The writer is definitely emotionally involved in the book. Some writers can't let go with the book. Other writers wake up and they realize that they have a great piece of material and they want to share it. If it's a single voice book, easiest way to share it is to use an AI on it. Okay and you can turn that out relatively rapidly. If you have a book with seven or eight different voices in it, it gets expensive.
Sheila Keene-Lund:I want to definitely do the book because I am very passionate about the care Care for not only the person that has the Alzheimer's but definitely the curcuit. I want to do that as soon as I can and I want to make it available to people both books to people as much as I can and share with them those techniques that will help people.
Mike Roth:And you know what the secret is of getting the book out there.
Sheila Keene-Lund:Excuse me.
Mike Roth:The secret of getting the book into the people's hands that you need it to get into. What's the secret?
Sheila Keene-Lund:The secret of getting it into the hands. Speaking about it Okay, speaking about it. Doing presentations.
Mike Roth:Doing presentations, getting yourself on some national TV shows or national shows or other podcasts like this, but I think the real marketing effort will be to go after the physicians who do the diagnosis. Yes. Okay, the neurologists, so that your material can be put in front of the families of the Alzheimer's patient.
Sheila Keene-Lund:That's a good idea, you know. Interesting enough, I had somebody leave a review saying that the book should be in every doctor's office.
Mike Roth:Well, not the book.
Sheila Keene-Lund:That's a big problem. And that's a big problem. The thing is, there's a lot of information about how to care for the person, but everybody's so different and circumstances are so different and, ultimately, Well, the cases are different too. Yes, and ultimately it's the caregiver's mindset that will determine the experience for that caregiver and what she'll take out of it and how it communicates to the person that you're taking care of.
Mike Roth:Good. So, Sheila, do you have any last remarks that you want to give to our audience or ideas?
Sheila Keene-Lund:Well, just love the person that you're with as much as you can, be as vulnerable as you can with whoever that you love because you never know how long it's going to last and always remain positive and let go of negativity and always channel your energy towards something that is fruitful and long lasting.
Mike Roth:Good, and do you have a website?
Sheila Keene-Lund:Yes, it's been developed. I have one already, mainly geared towards my philosophy, spiritual books, but it's called e omh. h com. com.
Mike Roth:Shillekeene L-U-N-D is the last.
Sheila Keene-Lund:L-U-N-D at the end, sheilakeenelund. com.
Mike Roth:Good, and if one of our listeners has trouble figuring that out, they can go to the transcript of the show. Okay, thanks a lot for being on the show today Sheila. Thank you for having me here Good.
Emily:Remember our next episode will be released next Friday at 9 am. Should you want to become a major supporter of the show or have questions, please contact us at mi ke@rothvoice. i c. com. This is a shout out for supporters Tweet Coleman, Ed Williams and major supporter Dr Craig Curtis at K2 The Villages villages. We will be hearing more from Dr Curtis with short Alzheimer's tips each week. If you know someone who should be on the show, contact us mike@rothvoicecom mike@rothvoice. com. We thank everyone for listening to the show. The content of the show is copyrighted by Rothvoice 2024, all rights reserved.